Where It All Began
by ParaGhost
Summary: One emotionally destroyed man... One faith questioning Angel... a world of romance. I own nothing. CastielxDean, self harm - possible triggers


Once upon a time... There was a broken hunter going by the name Dean Winchester.. Wherever his name was spoken, angel and demon, good and evil, all creatures in the universe combined gasped and stepped back in shock. He survived hell. He came back from the pit. All because of one faith questioning angel.. An angel that cared and let his emotions slip out into the open.

For dean's whole life, Castiel had watched over him and protected him from so much when possible. When dean was in the pit, it broke Castiel and he fought as hard as he could to get his... Wait... He can't use possessives... Castiel fought as hard as he could to get little Dean Winchester out of hell. Unfortunately, his efforts left dean with cas's handprint burned into his shoulder... A permanent scar.

One day, Castiel and his partner found themselves facing Dean and his annoying brother Sam in order to get to a fallen angel and punish her with death.

Every ounce of Castiel's being wanted to reach out and hold Dean, but a strong wave of negative thoughts and feelings washed over him from his partner so he stopped himself. The angel they wanted turned to dean and she thanked him for trying to save her, and she kissed him softly. A spiking stab of jealousy swept through Cas and he clenched his fists. Cas wanted to pound this little slut into pulp, then personally deliver her to Lucifer in his cage himself.

Suddenly Alistair and his men appeared behind Sam and dean, and Cas was quick to put himself between the wicked demon and his... Fuck it, his little Dean. Castiel tried to pull Alistair out of the paediatrician's body but he was too strong. After an evil grin, Casti found himself lying trapped under Alistair's filthy body. Out of no where, Dean growled and swung a fierce punch at the leading demon, giving Cas the chance to roll away and save his own ass before looking after Dean.

While this had been going down, Castiel's partner had exorcised Alistair's two followers, but Anna had grabbed the vile containing her grace. Out of the corner of his eye, Castiel saw Sam run to his little demon girlfriend, Ruby, and they held each other as Anna smashed the vile and her blue grace leaked out onto the floor. Knowing that if Dean saw her light, he would go blind, Castiel quickly slid across the floor and wrapped his arms protectively around his little human. He watched as Anna screamed for them to shut their eyes, then took her grace back.

Castiel bit his tongue to hold back a protective moan when he felt Dean snuggle into his chest. With a small smile he watched Anna, and he subconsciously tightened his grip on little Dean. When Anna had disappeared, Castiel's partner walked over with a disgusted stare and yanked him away from the human. Cas looked back down into Dean's eyes and was shocked at the emotions flitting through them. Fear, longing, vulnerability...lust... It shocked him that Dean was showing these emotions towards him.

As his partner tugged him along, he was in a daze. It was so unheard of for angels and humans to show emotions like this... Why him? Why Dean? There was some dispute between Sam, Dean and his partner, but Cas heard none of it. He was too focused on how warm and soft Dean's body had felt snuggling into his own. All he was aware of was putting a warning hand on his partner's shoulder when Dean was threatened.

Quickly they nodded good bye and with one last sweet glance at Dean, Castiel disappeared again. Ruby stumbled over to Sam and Dean with blood pouring out of her stomach and she kissed Sam lightly before walking away into the darkness. Sam and Dean looked to each other then, started walking to the Impala. Sam mentioned something about an interesting case so Dean started the engine and beaded towards Missouri.

As they drove, Dean was completely silent as his thoughts kept wandering back to how he felt when Castiel grabbed him to shield him from the eye burning light that radiated off Anna. Whatever had transpired between Anna and Dean the previous night was purely need and comfort for them both, but whatever he had felt towards her disappeared completely when Cas touched him.

'Thinking about your little angel?' Sam teased from beside him.

'What? No!' Dean quickly lied and denied. 'I was just thinking about... I... Umm...'

'You were thinking about Castiel XD stop trying to hide it Dean!' Sam giggled like a school girl. Suddenly he reached out and put a hand on his brother's arm. 'Don't let him go Dean. Life is too short to keep feelings inside, especially love.'

The two said nothing for the remainder of the car trip. 'Highway to Hell' came on the radio and was a good distraction from the awkwardness settling in as dean realise... Dear God and Lucifer... He loved an angel... He loved Castiel... What. The. Fuck.

***Several months and thousands of awkward and cute interactions with Castiel later***

Sam had left him. Through some fight about Ruby, Sam had punched Dean and walked away. Hurtful words were left to fester, and the pain started setting into Dean's bones. Silently he sat down on his bed and rubbed his eyes, blinking away forming tears. How could his brother be so mean? Over a girl? Why would he let a damn demon slut come between them? What had Dean done wrong?

For about the millionth time in his life, Dean felt worthless and used. He wished he just couldn't feel because the raging pain inside him was too much to bear. A glinting in the corner of his eye caught his attention and on the table next to him was a knife. Picking it up clumsily he looked over it, studied it. He remembered what it had felt like in hell when Alistair had tortured him relentlessly.

'God you're such a worthless prick!' Dean screamed at himself. He brought the blade down on his forearm and let the cool steal drag through his flesh. Crimson blood flowed from the fresh wound and satisfaction swelled inside Dean. He selfishly did it again and again, not bothering to think what effect it would have on other people. _"Who would know?" he thought._ It would be his secret. His guilty pleasure.

When Dean's left arm had been torn to shreds by numerous cuts, he dropped the blade and started to stumble out of his hotel room. He didn't stop walking until he found a vast field, and there he collapsed on the ground. The skies stirred and rain started falling in bucketfuls, but Dean didn't notice. He didn't care. All he could feel was pain and anger and self hatred. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he just let them come. There was no end to the emotions that poured out of his eyes in the forms of tears and sobs. Dean lifted his face to the sky and cried out in agony. Sam was gone, the rest of his family was dead, he hadn't seen Castiel in weeks... There was just too much pain.

Dean yelled and cried out until his throat was sore, then he spread his arms out and screamed CASTIEL! As loud as he could bear... Again and again he called out for his beloved angel... But there was no answer. Dean sunk back down onto his heels and let silent sobs rack his body. Though the storm raged and rain pelted down, Dean was able to clearly hear a soft male voice.

'Dean' Castiel almost whispered.

'Cas...' Dean said, standing up and turning around. There, in all his glory, stood Castiel, soaked to the bone by the rain but wearing a small smile.

'Dean I am here...' he whispered as he walked forward. Silently he reached out and grabbed dean's arm, letting energy flow into the self inflicted wounds, healing them all. 'Cry no more...'

Dean moaned softly and sobbed one last time, then lunged at Castiel and held him as tight as he could. Castiel wrapped his arms around his frail little human and insane protectiveness washed over him. Neither of them paid any attention to the rain and thunder. All they could see and feel was the beautiful person in each others arms.

'Dean... I must tell you something...' Castiel muttered, pulling away from him slightly. 'I... Dean... I love you...'

The harsh and all powerful Winchester gasped as all his walls fell and he pressed his body against Cas's, then rested their foreheads together.

'Castiel... You damn beautiful angel... I love you with all my heart...'

Castiel smiled softly then leaned forward slowly.. The gap between them closed and their lips met... For the first time in forever, angel and human made intimate contact and there was a blinding flash of red and white, but Dean and Cas paid no mind to it. Their kiss became more passionate as they tested the waters, and Dean moaned as he felt Castiel wrap his arms around him. Suddenly the human felt rejuvenated, and Castiel gasped as he realised what had happened.

'Dean... You're... You're bound to my fate... You will live as long as i do... And if death doesn't take me then you...we... Shall live forever...' He whispered in awe.

'That,' Dean said grinning. 'Is something I can live with. I will always be yours my dear Castiel...'

Once again the gap between them closed. Dean and Castiel kissed passionately under the dark stormy sky, then they curled up on the ground; a shield of pure energy formed over them as protection from the rain. They cuddled each other close as they fell asleep together...the fiery pain finally being put out in both their hearts and infinite love blooming... a broken angel and a messed up human had been able to become the most beautiful thing in the world... They had become whole...


End file.
